Caldwell University to Increase Enrollment by Printing Students Instead of Recruiting Them

April 1, 2014 – A bold decision has been made by the Enrollment Management and Communications Division of Caldwell University.  Ensuring that enrollment increases in number and in diversity has been an increasingly difficult task.  Recruitment has been the focus of the college’s approach to increasing enrollment since its inception in 1939.  An important question arose at a high level meeting several years ago.  Is recruitment the only way to increase enrollment?  That question could only be answered nearly 75 years after the college was founded.

On this the college’s 75th anniversary year and transition into university status, the college’s VP of Enrollment Management and Communications Joseph Posillico has decided that we must have a record breaking inaugural class.  Subsequently, a plan was put together to assemble a few student volunteers to be bioscanned and bioprinted.

The library also announced an innovative new service that will 3D print librarians to provide highly individualized and advanced research assistance for students. “We will do whatever is needed to support student success at Caldwell,” noted Dr. Nancy Becker, executive director of the library.

College Scientist Anthony Yang says “We literally had to wait for the technology to be invented in order to proceed.  Now we have the capability to bioscan our best students and print as many of them as we want!  These are exciting times.”

With the college’s recent acquisition of 3D printers, scanners and soon 3D bioprinters, it has become possible to do what was impossible just a few years ago. Posillico said that “With the increased competition for students, creating/printing students is the next logical step.  We have been busy collecting the best students to scan and print.”

Student volunteer Bivo Kasaju was one of the first students to volunteer for this highly classified project.  “I feel honored to be one of the first people to ever be bioscanned and printed at the college.  It makes me feel great to know that my legacy will live on at Caldwell University.  In a way, I will always be going to Caldwell University.”

After being scanned a student can be printed on the college 3D bioprinters at any time.  Now it is possible to ensure that every available seat in the classroom is filled.  “We may have to start printing new buildings to house all of our new students!  Of course that is not possible at the moment.” said Yang.

The contents of this article are entirely fabricated and completely made up.  Printing whole human beings is not yet possible, but we do have 3D printers and scanners!  Get more information about 3D printing on the Caldwell University Library’s Facebook page, www.facebook.com/jenningslibrary.  

Get more information about printing your 3D creations at the Caldwell University Creation Station!